Chopper is the first mission in Kane's strand of "Heartland".


  • Enter Kane's Truck
  • Drive to the rail yard
  • Escape the police


Kane walks into his office/apartment and reclines in his armchair. He turns the television on as he reaches for a plate with lines of cocaine on it as the TV plays in the background. He grabs the plate and snorts a line of coke, but right as he finishes the line, his cell phone rings. He angrilly drops the plate to the floor as he stands up and answers his phone

Kane: Yeah, what!?

Vitaly: This is Kane, Kane Gretswell, yes?

Kane: What-oh, oh...yeah. How's it going, Vite?

Vitaly: For one, you'll call me "Vitaly". I am your supplier, not your golf buddy-

Kane: Alrighty then, Vite. Anyway, what can I do for you?

Kane starts pacing around the room as he talks on the phone

Vitaly: *Sighs* Alright, look. I've got those AK rifles I got for your employer. You are going to pick them up and drive them to him.

Kane: That's it, that easy?

Vitaly: Yes, hopefully. You will be meeting my men at the railroad yard in Barberville. You bring across border. You get paid. Got it?

Kane: Oh, right. Got it. Drive to switch yard, get guns, get them to the mob, get paid. Got it, good deal-

Vitaly: Alright. My men will be seeing you soon.

Kane hangs up

The player is instructed to enter Kane's pickup

The player enters Kane's pickup. The player is instructed to drive to the Barberville rail yard

The player arrives at the Barberville rail yard. Upon arrival, a cutscene occurs

Kane walks up to a group of Russians standing on a loading dock, sitting atop a crate'. As he walks up to them, Kane calls out to them

Kane: Whassup, amigos!?

Russian 1: Are you Kane?

Kane: Yep, I'm Kane, the one and only.

Russian 2: *To Russian 1* He is Kane-

Russian 1: Yes Yuri, I am fully aware that Kane is Kane. *To Kane* You are here for the rifles, no?

Kane: No-I mean, yes.

Russian 1: Are you okay? You seem a little...hyper, is the word?

Kane: Hyper? *Laughs* I'm not hyper, I'm just happy! Happy happy joy joy!

Kane begins jumping up and down as Russian 2 moves the crate to the bed of his pickup truck

Kane: Look at me! I'm practically jumping up and down with joy! Hell yeah!

Kane stops jumping as he runs over to the crate

Kane: Hey-hey, let me look at the rifles-

Russian 1: Why do you want to look at the rifles? We already have them sealed-

Kane: Because I want to know that I'm getting a proper chopper, and not some shitty Chinese ripoff, you fucking faggot.

Russian 1 shrugs as Kane pushes Russian 2 over and prys the top of the crate open. He looks into the crate, only to have a dissapointed look on his face after a few seconds

Kane: These aren't choppers.

Russian 1: What is a chopper-

Kane: You ain't never heard of a 'K being called a chopper before!?

Russian 1: What's a "K"?

Russian 2: He means "AK"-

Russian 1: Shut up, I get now-

Kane pulls out the rifle from the crate and examines it

Kane: not an AK-47 gentlemen, it's a Yugoslav-made M70 rifle-

Russian 2: So what? They practically same thing-

Kane: Same thing!? Tell me, did the AK-47 have a folding stock!? Did the AK-47 have flip-up sights, or cooling vents!?

Kane points the rifle directly at Russian 2'. Russian 2 begins pleading in Russian as Kane yells at him

Kane: You think this looks like the barrel of an AK-47!?

Kane shoots Russian 2 in the head. Russian 1 begins to back away as Kane points his rifle at him

Russian 1: You just shot Yuri!

Kane: No shit, sherlock! Now, give me my fucking AKs that the IRA asked for, and not some shitty Balkan remake!

Russian 1: They're the same thing-

Kane: No they're not! They're not the same thing! Now get the fuck out of here or I swear to god, this barrel's going so far up your ass, it's coming straight out your nose!

Russian 1 turns around and quickly runs away as Kane yells at him

Kane: That's right, run you little cocksucker! Don't come back 'till you get a real AK!

Suddenly, police sirens are heard. Kane frantically looks around as he yells out to himself

Kane: Motherfuck, motherfuck, motherfuck!

The player gains control of Kane. The player is instructed to escape a two-star wanted level

The player escapes the police

Mission Passed

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